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Nobel? What Nobel, asks Mr. Mathrubootham

Respected Madam/Sir,

Two-three days no peace of mind in the house, in the newspaper or in the television. Everywhere I am looking, same thing only. Nobel Prize. Nobel Prize. Nobel Prize. I was sitting in the dining room easy chair and reading superhit novel The Negotiator by superhit novelist Frederick Forsyth. Suddenly Mrs. Mathrubootham came running and said Old man! Nobel Prize for economics is announced, it is given to one Indian man, it is a proud day for all Indians.

Madam/ sir, immediately I told her, Kamalam, whether he is working in India or abroad. She said he is working in the U.S. or something but originally from West Bengal. His wife has also won Nobel Prize with him. It is a wonderful news. I said what nonsense you are celebrating as if Indian person has won the prize. Poor fellow has run away to U.S. to do proper work without headache and now suddenly he is Indian it seems.

Ideas in India

Madam/ sir, this is the problem with our country. Will we let anybody to work peacefully? Never. Imagine you are some Nobel Prize type fellow in the office. One day you get one superb idea for economics or physics or something. At that moment, peon will come and say excuse me sir, birthday party of Madam Vilasini is taking place in conference room. Attendance is compulsory.

You will say okay no problem maximum it will take 15 minutes. After three hours, you will come back to the office and you will say, oho where is that idea I had just before karumam birthday party? Okay, okay, now I remember…

At that moment accountant will come and say, excuse me sir one problem is there in last month house rent allowance requisition form. You have put year as 2018 instead of 2019. Can you please submit new form? Then you will say, whether I can just cut year and put new year on top? Accountant will say absolutely not allowed due to new rules, any correction means you have to get affidavit signed from gazetted officer. So you will take one hour to fill one new form.

After lunch break, you will come back to office. Oh my god, where is that amazing idea gone… oh ok I remember writing it in my notebook. At that moment, power cut will be there because electrician is putting decoration in the next building for one wedding function. After half an hour, electricity will come and you will run to do good idea thinking.

Two minutes later, one colleague will come and say hello my friend have you heard latest gossips from marketing department? What should you do? You should immediately tell electrician to put little current through this fellow till expiry. But no. If you say I am not interested in gossip, he will spread nonsense gossip about you itself.

Finally at 4.30 p.m., you are thinking ishwara at least two hours I can do something thinking about good idea I had this morning. Ha ha ha ha. You are the biggest fool. Because at that moment, head of department will come and say excuse me staff meeting has started, attendance is compulsory. You will say just coming, two minutes. Then after opening almirah, going inside almirah, and then screaming inside almirah for two minutes, you will go for staff meeting.

At 5.30 p.m., you will tell head of the department, this morning I had one amazing good idea. Maybe it will win international award. Tomorrow itself I will come back and do work. HOD will laugh and laugh like hippopotamus: What nonsense you are talking, tomorrow onwards Puja holidays are starting.

Then you will think mannangkatti, I am going to U.S. to do work in peace.

Correct or no? Fully correct

Yours in exasperation,

J. Mathrubootham

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